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A Gift for the Princess

It was the seventh of December, which meant that in exactly two weeks, Yule would begin. And that, in turn, meant that the entire population of Morkland had just realized they were in deep shit, because they hadn't bought any gifts yet. The only solution was frantically running around the biggest shopping center in the area, exactly right now.

Even though outside it was hitting a record low of minus ten degrees (Celsius), inside Polaris they cranked up the heating to the max. So, not only did you have to navigate the mall carrying several bags, but also your jacket tucked under your arm. Well, not everyone had to, because Rabi, as usual, had her favorite porter with her, allowing her to leisurely stroll and admire the clothes in every shop window.

Now, however, she stood in the wide hall, between two boutiques displaying outrageously expensive winter boots. Her brows were furrowed, and she stood stiffly, pouting her full lips. Her shoulders were tense, hands clenched into fists.

“Seriously, Szili? You can't ask me about these things; you should surprise me!” She squawked, stomping her hoof on the matte tiles. She looked at her girlfriend, who, despite her enormous stature, was drowning under a puffy, snow-white jacket, holding it along with a few bags for Rabi.

Sziliana stood with an awkward smile, patiently listening to the sermon. After all, interrupting the princess would mean she wouldn't let her into bed, and that would be the end of the world, to put it lightly. She took a cautious step back, laying down her fluffy ears. As soon as she caught a pause in the woman's words, she lunged forward like a record sprinter to deliver the salvage she had been holding back inside for a good few seconds.

“Oh, sugarplum…” She smoothly moved closer and caressed Rabi's cheek. That was enough to ease the crease between her eyes. Szili's characteristic, nonchalant smile appeared on her face — the one she wore every day and the one that was heralding a powerful wave of cheesy flirt. ”What could I possibly give to a lady who has everything?”

Such cheap flattery always worked on Rabi without fail. Even though she still pretended to be annoyed, she quickly turned her gaze to the side, with happy sparkles dancing in her eyes. Whatever she had in mind quickly vanished, however, replaced by pure delight. She opened her eyes wide and enthusiastically pointed somewhere behind Szili's shoulder, almost poking her eye out with her long, sharp nails.

“I want that!!!” She squealed with childlike excitement. “It will match my club perfectly! For real, I already have the whole scene planned out!”

Sziliana, slightly puzzled, followed her reached out arm. Now both stood facing the Christmas decoration in the middle of the square. There were three reindeer statues. Their shapes were formed using metal frames wrapped in LED lights and holograms, displaying blinking eyes and cheerful faces on their heads. Artificial snow fell over everything in a looped animation.

“Well, y’know, I can't really buy that... It's just a decoration.”.

“If you love me, you'll get it for me!“ she replied without hesitation, leaning down to meet the gaze of the slightly shorter bird. She fluttered her lashes with a pleading expression.

Sziliana chuckled, shaking her head, and smiled condescendingly.

“You're a bad influence on me, princess.”

***

Sziliana stood on her tiptoes, peering through a small factory window, right next to the emergency exit doors at the back of the building.

”Clear, you can open it.” She jumped off a stack of transport crates, standing next to Marcel.

He was already getting ready to pick the lock, though he didn't seem too pleased with the situation. Honestly, all he wanted was to finish this as quickly as possible and get back to his evening yoga at home because he really didn't feel like breaking into a mall in the middle of the night, especially in such Siberian weather.

“Before I start, you need to know you're a pussy-whip.” Marcel muttered cautiously and with focus, twisting the lockpick in the keyhole.

“Not a pussy-whip. It's just that Rabi's the kind of lady that you don’t refuse, kay? Besides, she likes it when I bring her things, and she always spreads her legs in return…”

“You're gross.” Marcel interrupted her before it was too late and looked at her with a gaze that could kill, even though Szili seemed very pleased with herself.

“Have you ever thought that maybe it's some weird fetish, that you like to earn something, but, in reality, deep down, it's a way to cope with the fact that you can't believe you deserve someone's attention unconditionally?” blurted Scisor, who until then had stood silently, probably forgetting he even existed. Now he was looking at Sziliana with a friendly smile, as if he were genuinely curious about her thoughts on the matter.

There was a moment of awkward silence, during which the remaining two observed the tall lizard. Sziliana's eyelid twitched slightly, and her left heel nervously tapped against the sidewalk.

“Have you ever thought that you haven't been punched in the yap for a while now?”

Scisor flinched and straightened up quite unnaturally, surprised by such a sudden threat.

“Yo, come on, dawg, I'm just sayin'...”

Sziliana looked at him for a moment longer. Fortunately, Scisor's fear was enough to appease her desire to fulfill her words. At least for now. She rolled her eyes and shifted her whole body towards Marcel, ready to start chivvying him up. However, she quickly interrupted her thought when she saw the wide-open doors, which were slowly halting their movement. Marcel took a step back, inviting the rest inside.

“I'll wait in the car. Don't wander around too much; only the main alarm is off.”

“Hey! I'm in charge here, so shut it! Besides, I've done this a million times; I know what I'm doing!”

Sziliana and Scisor quickly found themselves inside. They hurriedly walked through empty white corridors, occasionally adorned only by emergency signs, constantly trying to persuade them to go back, although they knew it was impossible. It was too late. They couldn't retreat. Within a few hours, the bird had mobilized her entire team to do it just the same evening, which was quite admirable.

Finally, they emerged from the employee tunnels into a huge main hall, which was now completely dark. Only the moonlight came through the glass walls, but it wasn't enough to see well. The fountain, decorative lights, and holographic ads were turned off. There were no annoying marketing messages coming from the speakers, and the entrances to the shops were blocked by anti-burglary blinds. It looked as if everything was frozen in time and space.

“It's kinda weird here when it's so empty." Scisor remarked, looking around the vast hall, hoping that conversation would distract him from the unnerving emptiness.

“I know, right? I'm getting fuckin’ goosebumps.”

Sziliana quickly took out a phone from her pocket and turned on the flashlight. Because of her species, her eyesight in the dark was even worse than humans'. Well, that’s probably why most diurnal birds don't fly at night. They just can’t see shit. She scanned the room with the light, finally stopping at the monstrously long escalators.

When they reached the beginning of the mechanical stairs, their enthusiasm quickly dwindled. Well, of course, it wouldn't be running. Nothing was running. It was the only way to get to the upper floor, although it was hard to believe because there was no end in sight. The lizard took a resigned breath and went first. Sziliana stood for a moment, contemplating her life choices. She lowered her eyes to her winter boots with ten-centimeter heels and then, almost casually, to the uneven surface of the steps.

Scisor waited at the top for quite a while. To the point that he even glanced down once or twice, as if afraid that the stairs had swallowed his friend into another dimension or that he had entered one himself, only he hadn't noticed because the alternative reality looked exactly the same. Right before he completely succumbed to paranoia, Sziliana rolled up to the top, supporting her weight with her hands on her knees and panting like a dog.

“Have you ever thought about doing your legs too?” The guy leaned slightly to the side to get a better look at Sziliana's figure. She most definitely never had a leg day in her life, but at least she dedicated all the time she could to exercising literally everything else.

In response, she raised her large hand, tightly clenched into a fist.

“Never!” she gasped dramatically and, with renewed vigor, energetically moved forward.

They didn't have to go far before they saw the disabled reindeer display in the middle of the square. Without the lights on, they looked somewhat pathetic; after all, they were just metal frames, barely visible in the ubiquitous darkness.

“Alrighty, I'll take two, and you take the third one.” Sziliana tossed, and not even waiting for a response, she stepped over the low barrier and grabbed one of the statues under its belly. She lifted it up, placing it on her shoulder like a barrel. She did the same with the second one, holding it in her other hand.

Looking at her, it seemed like the reindeer weighed nothing. However, Scisor quickly realized he couldn't even lift it completely, although he really tried, from every angle, at least twice. He groaned finally and slumped onto the metal structure, resigned.

“You're doing great!” the parrot chuckled, watching Scisor pissing around the reindeer while she still held two of them on her shoulders without any issues.

The lizard was ready to talk something back, but just then, he spotted a possible solution to the problem in the corner of the room. It was a shopping cart, probably one of those working ones used to transport goods to stores so that low-paid employees didn't have to carry them by hand. Loading the statue into the cart wasn't easy and required Szili's help, which she did with exceptional sneer; and ultimately, even driving the vehicle itself wasn't easy because the reindeer tried very hard to fall out and swayed from side to side at the slightest change of direction.

When Scisor finally started to get the hang of balancing the metal animal, they had to stop. Because now, in front of them, were those damned escalators, escaping into the darkness, looking like a passage to the depths of Tartarus. Both knew they didn't stand a chance of carrying the reindeer downstairs. Sziliana, even though she carried them like pillows, had no chance of passing so many steps again with such a ballast, and Scisor couldn't go down such long stairs with the cart; even if he managed to hold it in place, it would take ages.

“I think I have an idea, but you have to help me again." After a second, Scisor spoke, even though he was exceptionally unsure. Not as if they had any other options.

It took them a while. A long while. Creating a stable structure without damaging the statues was quite a challenge, especially since neither of them knew anything about this type of handicraft. But eventually, their greatest work of art, which was also really ironic, was born: The Reindeer Sleigh. Three metal frames were crudely connected with each other with a series of cables and switched-off yule lights, creating something akin to a rickety and unstable raft. The invention was ready for its first (and last) ride.

Together, though mainly with Szili's help, they threw the sleigh onto the handrails of the stairs, and then, carefully, to avoid pushing the construction forward, they settled on the platform.

“Okay, we go on three.” Sziliana said.

“Wait! On three, or after three?”

“Oh, what does it matter?! ONETWOTHREE!”

Scisor didn't even have time to scream because the parrot pushed them off the flat edge with one swift motion. The rubber banisters worked like rails, making the sleigh rush down smoothly. With each passing second, it began to gain more and more speed beyond any control. The duo screamed at the top of their lungs, as if they were riding a roller coaster, even though the descent didn't last too long. As soon as the handrails ended beneath the sleigh, as if shot out of a sling, it flew in the air for a few more meters until the thick, several-inch glass of one of the shop windows stopped its momentum. 

Sziliana and Scisor, still pumped with adrenaline, jumped up and froze, watching as a thin line on the cracked glass gradually spread from the point of impact higher and higher until it finally reached the ceiling with a sharp snap. Everything froze. The only sound was the shaking breaths of the two thieves, which gradually filled with hope that it would end there. 

Then a terrifying CRASH resounded, and the huge glass, as if ground by a really expensive blender, shattered before their eyes into microscopic snowflakes. Both of their hearts stopped before they even heard the horrifying wail of the private burglar alarm belonging to the boutique, which apparently decided to additionally secure itself in case a pair of cretins smashed their window with hastily assembled sleighs made from metal reindeer.

Maybe it was thanks to muscle memory from all their other gigs, or perhaps thanks to the adrenaline rush; probably both; but within a minute, they were outside and loading the decorations into the car waiting for them.

***

“Ah! They look wonderful!” Rabi glomped her girlfriend tightly and gave her a loud kiss on the cheek, leaving behind a trace of pink lipstick. “You're so sweet!”

Sziliana chuckled proudly and raised her arms, as if trying to act at least minimally modest.

"Oh, baby girl, y’know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you.”

“Yea, yea… Well, since you've tried so hard, you've earned yourself a reward.”

Sziliana straightened up and puffed up like a balloon, fluffing up feathers on her wings, and her ears shaking like springs. Everyone in the room knew what the mysterious "reward" was supposed to be, although everyone except the giggling couple would rather not know.

“And I’m not gettin’ anything." A little further away, Scisor sat on the club stage, watching the theatrical scene unfolding.

“I can buy you a drink, if you want.” Marcel looked up from his phone, where he was reading some recipe for an overcomplicated “enhanced matcha,"  for which he didn't even have half the ingredients. “But you have to give me money.”

Scisor, as quickly as he cheered up, grimaced at Marcel with disapproval.

“What? You owe me money anyway, so you can pay it back a bit now.”

The lizard muttered something under his breath and pulled out his phone from his pocket, on which he launched the bank app and handed it to his friend.